Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

According to Wikipedia, Portland, Oregon has a “warm-summer Mediterranean climate”. Which makes it sound waaaaay nicer than it really is, and is actually a euphemism for “it rains all the damned time”.

I have made a commitment to stop complaining, particularly about things I’m powerless to change. Thus I have compiled this list of Fantastic Attributes of Rain. 

Digestive aid

According to the website “Tell Me the Good News” (whose authority I am in no way endorsing), rain aids in digestion. Who knew? I quote:

“The alkaline pH of rainwater can actually be beneficial for our health. It has an overall detoxifying effect, and it also speeds up your metabolism. Since our bodies absorb toxins every day, this is one of the best benefits of rain that we can really capitalise on next time the heavens open up!”

Maybe you have to walk around with your face tipped upwards, mouth open, in order to drink the rainwater? Or can you just garner these effects through osmosis, letting it absorb through your skin? That would be easiest.

If this is true, it’s terrifically good news. I can’t really digest wheat at all, and yet I adore pasta. So if I walk in the rain for an hour a day (which I can do for eight months out of the year!) perhaps I can indulge in a little Puttanesca? Hooray for drizzle!

Strength

I visited Quora.com, because everyone there is smart. It’s like reddit for the intellectual set. I came upon this interesting take on rain:

“I love the RAW power of rain. The ability to flood an interstate in mere minutes. The power to collapse a hillside. The power to run off a burn scar in the Ute Pass in 2013–14 and shut it down several times resulting in a 3 hour detour.”

Rain as a destructive force isn’t something I think about very often. Our hillsides seem to withstand being constantly waterlogged. Perhaps they’re made of sterner stuff than those that are forever collapsing, destroying homes and ruining lives. 

But it’s worth thinking about. A solid natural disaster reminds us that we’re only puny, hairless creatures scampering about on the surface of a sometimes inhospitable planet. Score one for humility via downpour!

Productivity booster

This opinion comes courtesy of Bustle. Bustle describes itself as “the premier digital destination for young women.” I am way out of their demographic, and am therefore a stealth reader. Please don’t turn me in.

 The author of this article cites a Harvard Business School study, and who am I to argue with the Stanford of the East?

“On rainy days, workers complete tasks in a shorter period of time than on days when skies are blue and the sun is out.”

I confess, I’ve found the opposite to be true for me. When it’s unyieldingly gray outside my productivity matches that of the raindrops sliding down the windowpane. But that’s just me! I’m sure the rest of you are kicking ass and taking names. Bring on the deluge!

Wedded bliss

According to the Pink Bride website, rain on your wedding day is good luck! 

“Rain represents many things in different cultures – most of which include fertility, cleansing, unity, renewal, and tears.”

The author adds details about these terrific effects, but honestly, all you need to know is that it’s good luck and your marriage will withstand all blows. My own wedding day was pretty touch and go for a while, but the sun finally broke through and we had a fine afternoon.

Needless to say, my marriage ended in divorce. Sun - 0, showers - 1.

Life depends upon it

Our friends at National Geographic remind us that without rain, we’d be up a dry creek bed without a canteen.

“Human life depends on rain. Rain is the source of freshwater for many cultures where rivers, lakes, or aquifers are not easily accessible. Rain makes modern life possible by providing water for agriculture, industry, hygiene, and electrical energy.”

I certainly can’t argue with any of that. We’re more or less in the damp cradle of humidity here, with mist and moss as far as the eye can see. And as I’d prefer living to its alternative I guess I’d better pray for the rain to continue.

With thanks to B. J. Thomas.

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