Household Gods
Once upon a time, household gods were commonplace. So many cultures feared and revered their domestic deities that it feels like a human attribute to assume a god of some kind is overseeing the minutiae of the home. In many places, offerings to the gods were and still are a regular part of life.
Here in the modern West, the gods have fled, and managing the household has been left to the women, who are neither revered, nor worshiped, nor offered gifts. Now our household gods are celebrities, and we don’t thank them for protecting us, we venerate them for their accomplishments, and give them money rather than tribute.
In our house, we worship Beyoncé. Minor deities include The Rock, Paul Rudd, Michelle Obama, Lil Nas X, Queen, Katniss Everdeen, and a slew of literary orphans. Much as I love them, they’re not really helping me in the day to day.
I’d like to make a case for going back to the old ways. Instead of blaming myself for the leak in the bathroom, because I meant to call the plumber last week when I first noticed water seeping onto the floor, let’s blame the god of pipes and lay a sliver of sushi-grade salmon on his altar.
And I’ll happily pour a dram of rosé into a thimble to appease the goddess of clocks and calendars. If the payment is late, if the birthday is missed, could I not beg her for succor?
Back in the early days of Rome, a woman was dead long before age 57. Middle aged (or ancient, I guess) people were not expected to pay all the bills and arrange to have the vents cleaned and keep the refrigerator stocked and answer texts asking how to log in to Netflix.
While I’m happy to have lived past 25, I can’t help but think that passing at least some of these responsibilities to the household gods would make life a whole lot easier. And surely a few of them must still be in the ether, floating around, looking for admirers?
So in 2023 I will build an altar. I will invite any and all deities to inhabit my home, even the tricksters. At least I’ll have someone to share the blame when the washing machine breaks down again.